When we first become vegetarian, often we’re bursting with zeal, and try
to convert everyone we know to our new religion. It’s one thing to be
right, but quite another to tell everybody else. As Mark Twain said, "Few
things are harder to put up with than a good example." Miss Manners
adds her bit: “Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness.” Below you will find information on advancing the cause through good manners, diplomacy,
and public relations.
Seven Principles of Savvy Vegetarians
1. Modesty. Vegetarianism isn’t a religion. It’s a dietary preference, which will
almost certainly enhance your religious experiences, but isn’t in itself a path to
God. It is possible to become enlightened as a meat eater, and being
vegetarian doesn’t make you part of a moral minority. There are probably areas
in your life that you might not want to be made public.
2. Tolerance. There’s no reason why everybody has to be just like you! Other
people have the right to eat meat if they want to. It’s true that they’re harming
the environment, and themselves, by eating factory-farmed animals. However,
things would be vastly improved if they went organic and reduced their
consumption of beef, chicken and fish by 75%. It isn’t necessary for anyone,
including you, to become completely vegetarian if they don’t want to.
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone
else” - Margaret Mead (1901-1978) American anthropologist.
3. Discretion. You don’t need to hide, but it isn’t necessary to go around
announcing to everyone in sight that you’re a vegetarian. Those folks who
haven’t yet seen the light about eating animals are not going to change because
you tell them they’re wrong. To them, that’s exactly what you’re doing when you
say that you’re a vegetarian. Just mentioning it makes them feel defensive, and
angry with you and all vegetarians.
4. Don’t explain. "Silence is argument carried out by other means."
Ernesto "Che" Guevara (1928-1967). If asked by someone who notices you ordered the Pasta Alfredo without the chicken, say the minimum, such as, “ I like it this way,” or, “It’s kind of personal.” If you’re pressed, say “It's a long story. Why don’t we talk later?” You don’t owe anybody an explanation about your diet, unless you think so, and really, most people don’t want one. They’re just expressing alarm that you’re behaving differently from the group.
5. Resist the urge to preach. When given a sympathetic audience, and the
opportunity to hold forth, say something like, “I’m new at this. If you really want
to know more about it, I recommend such-and-such books, or websites. Maybe
after you read or go there, we can talk about it.” Then change the subject. Your
modesty will intrigue them, and if they’re really interested, they’ll follow up.
Books or websites for you and others are listed in Resources, below.
6. Be gentle with your family and friends. For the most part, they’ll find your new diet puzzling, annoying, and even hurtful. “ Too bad!” isn’t an appropriate
response. Refusing to spend holidays with your family because you’re
vegetarian is unkind. You can let them know you’re vegetarian, with whatever
explanation you want to give, but don’t make a big deal out of it. It won’t help
your cause if your family and friends think you turned into an insensitive clod
when you became vegetarian.
7. Keep your sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at yourself, others will do it for you. If you can make or take a joke about being vegetarian, people won’t feel nearly as threatened, hurt, or skeptical. If, at Thanksgiving dinner, your Uncle Joe booms, “Vegetarians ain’t nothin’ but a bunch a’ sissies eatin’ rabbit food!” don’t get mad; do your Bugs Bunny imitation. Remember that your Uncle
probably feels threatened (never say that out loud, of course).
Read the rest of the Vegetarian Social Report here.
Editor's Note: Contribution from Judy Kingsbury of Savvy Vegetarian, providing support for the vegetarian lifestyle. Savvy Vegetarian Advice is dished out by Judy Kingsbury, a long time vegetarian who's experienced most of the veggie situations you can imagine, and many you wouldn't believe. Savvy Vegetarian, recommends a gradual, easy vegetarian tranistion, and a balanced, relaxed vegetarian lifestyle.
